Robins

Today was a very interesting day for me. I was going to bring you all a column on skincare, but I had something truly extraordinary happen to me today. Let me set the scene for you.....

I woke up this morning feeling exceptionally anxious. I have had many road blocks and obstacles to overcome this year. Starting with the end of my relationship at the beginning of the year, getting myself a dui and becoming sober, and most recently, losing my job over comments on facebook. All of these problems have brought great financial and mental strain to my life. I have fought hard to maintain my apartment and most importantly, my sanity.

Anxiety is something that I have dealt with almost my entire life. Everything from headaches to panic attacks, its all been there. I wouldnt wish any of this on my worst enemy. I have recently been struggling with the fact that I didnt have a full-time job. Its very hard to pay the bills and keep everything in place when you dont. I have tried everything from medication to breathing excercises to relieve me of the anxiety, all to no avail. Today I discovered something magnificent that really helped me.

Fast forward to today: My really close friend and neighbor, Robin, had a doctors appointment this morning for bloodwork. I offered to go along with her, so she wouldnt be alone. We always have such fun together, laughing and what not. So, off we went, to the doctors. She has known for a few days that I have been in a stress funk. So, she starts off our music selection with Miss Whitney herself; I didnt know my own strength. We talk about the relevance and the significance of these lyrics in our lives today. I  know that times have been tough, not just for me, but for everyone. Nonetheless, I have chosen to suck it up and keep a smile on my face; or so I thought.

We get finished at the dr. appt, and Robin tells me she wants to take me somewhere. I reluctantly agree, seeing as how I havent really been up to much lately. The next thing I know, we are in the woods, walking down a most beautiful trail. I began to take in all my surroundings; the earth, the sound of the river nearby, and just the peace of nature.  We walk for about half a mile, and we come upon a huge clearing with a giant stone fireplace, a few picnic tables and a grand patch of beautiful, kelly green grass. She instructs me to take off my shoes, turn off my cell phone and walk out to the middle with her. I agreed and did so.

I layed there for about 5 mins, and the clouds opened to the most gorgeous sun I had ever seen. It was so relaxing, and I could literally feel my anxiety stripping away from me. We then got up and she took me to a beautiful old wooden bridge, right across the way. I grabbed my phone for some music. I turned on Pandora and prayed for a song to commemorate the moment. I got my wish. Carrie Underwood has a profound song for me: Wasted. As of today, I am 120 days sober. 4 months. Robin told me to take her hand, and cross the bridge. She also said that when we get to the other side, our troubles are to be left behind. Even If just for the day. I did so, listening to Carrie all the way.

We got to the other side, and my heart was truly lifted. I said, I am ready to face the world again. We started crossing back, and walking to the place where we had left our shoes. I asked for a sign, a sign from the earth, telling me that we were doing the right thing, and that our paths were eventually going to clear. At that precise moment, we turned and looked at the open patch of grass. Tears started streaming down BOTH our faces. I counted, and there were 18 Robins spread out on the grass. There had been no birds there before. Robins are a symbol of grace and comfort. Especially for me, because my mother loves Robins.

I urge each of you, whether you suffer from anxiety, stress, or nothing at all, to outside. Soak up the Earth. Seek out the sources of your stresses. Eventually, your robins will come. In many forms, you will see them.