Footprints in the Snow

Well. Its Christmas Eve. Once again. I was outside a moment ago, and the snow is falling, setting a beautiful mood for an otherwise dull day. As I stood in the snow, making footprints, I remember a time when Christmas was the most exciting time of the year for me. If you ask anyone in my family, they would tell you that I lived for Christmas; not necessarily the presents, but the sights, sounds and memories that festive time of year would make for me. This year, however, takes a slightly different approach.

I went to my treatment meeting today, and we watched a movie. It was called Awakenings; starring Robert DeNiro and Robin Williams. The movie was about a doctor (Williams) who worked with patients exhibiting symptoms of Parkinson's Disease. These people seemed lifeless; paralyzed in their own worlds, but knowing of their surroundings. Williams decided to try an experimental drug, to bring life back to the patients. It works, but only for a brief while. Then, the patients are reverted back to their paralyzed states.

Recently, I have been feeling a lot of paralyzation in my own world. I have been going through the motions, hoping each day to gain a better grasp on my recovery and addictions. Many days, there are brief moments of being awakened and excited about the possibilities that life has to offer. Other days, there are definite periods of low, but they have become more obsolete. I am so thankful that there is a definite message in all of these days: Dont Give Up Before the Miracle Happens.  Each day, I learn more and more about myself and the decisions I have made concerning my life up to this point.

When I woke up this morning, I was thinking about how depressing it was that I havent given a single gift or have a single gift to open this year, coupled with the fact I havent hung one ornament or put up one decoration. So during my meeting, this thought occured to me: My most precious gift is that of my sobriety. I dont need Christmas to realize how fortunate I am that I am sober, living and have a place to dwell. I also realized the most precious gift that I get to give back, is the message that I deliver to the people in the meetings with me. That is also a constant, all year gift. There are so many people that are ten times less fortunate than I am, that are just happy to be on this earth for another day.

So, the footprints that I have made are not just in the snow. Hopefully, one person will read this message and get something out of it. I am very grateful to be able to express to each of you how happy I am to now be the person I am.  Christmas or not, that gift will keep on giving. For the rest of my life. I want to wish all of you a wonderful holiday season. I love you all.

Red and Green

Red and Green. Everywhere I look, its red and green. I look out the window, from the 39th floor, in a high rise apartment belonging to the fella I hope to spend a long long time with, and I am overwhelmed at all the beautiful colors of the city at night. The needle of the Sears Tower (now known as the Willis Tower) blinks, right in front of me, Red and Green. I look to the right and I see another building, lit up, top to bottom, Red and Green.

Life has had so many twists and turns this year. Today, I talked to my mom for an hour and a half on the phone about life. This marks the first holiday season without my father. This year, I wont be hearing his voice wishing me a Merry Christmas, via his recliner, during his nap in the middle of the big game. Many years have gone by, since seeing him on our last Christmas together, while he was telling me it was ok if i decided to move to Atlanta to pursue my dreams and goals. I cherish all the memories of him playing Santa, being daddy and being my closest friend and confidant.

I told my mother today of my newfound relationship. It hasnt always been an easy venture for me to discuss openly my gay lifestyle. It wasnt on her behalf tho; always mine. I opened up to her today about many feelings that I am experiencing and she is genuinely happy for me. My parents were married for 58 years when daddy passed, so I have always hoped to find a stable, long term happiness. My mom and dad very rarely ever fought, and never in front of me, and for that, I am truly grateful. The second question I asked mom today was how daddy was doing (he lives in an urn on the mantle) and her reply was simply: Wonderful. She followed that up with, I forgot to dust him today, so he might be a bit pissed about that. I love you mom....ha ha ha.

This year, being unemployed for so long, realy took me out of the spirit of the holidays. I have always believed in the true meaning of Christmas, but it has been important to me for so long to shower the ones I love with gifts of thought from me. This year, not having the means, really got to me. Seeing all the happy shoppers, the totally excited kids, and the look on the faces of those in high spirits, isnt exactly easy. But, I have managed to find the courage to accept the things I cannot change, and change the things I can. Hopefully, I will have the wisdom to know the difference.

I met this fella, just a few short days ago, but it feels as tho I have known him forever. Within two days of meeting him, he asked me to spend Christmas with him. He didnt even know that, without this invitation, I would most likely be spending Christmas alone. It has been very hard to accept, with all the tribulations that I have been experiencing this year, that someone could be in interested in me; just me being me. I really hope that I can find the courage not to doubt something that could be so good for me. I am just going to let go, have faith, and jump totally in, feet first; barefoot. I am very thankful for the opportunity and optimistic about our future.

In closing, I want everyone to look around at the Red and Green of your lives. Be thankful for all that you have and dont take anything for granted. Its not about the amount of gifts under the tree, but the love that you have in your hearts, that will carry you through not just a holiday season, but many years.

Le Firework

Ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again? Well, for the last few weeks of my life, that was an inevitble situation. Im going to take a moment to show all of you that ANYTHING in this world is possible.

All of my life, I have known that there was something very special inside of me, and I wanted to share it with the world. Ever since I can remember, I have dreamed of being on stage, whether it was in drag, playing music, making people laugh, doing anything I could to bring a smile to someone's  face and a warmth in their life. I have always known that I had something to share, and that no matter what, I was going to do it.

Recently, A lot of that shining light had been shadowed due to some major life altering events in my life. As Most of you already know, I got a dui earlier this year, lost my father, lost my job and then lost my house. All the while, I have kept positive, because I knew that on the the other side of this hurricane was a rainobow. Up until the last few weeks, that rainbow was very very bleak. On October 28th, things started to come into focus.

On that very day, I was sitting in court nervously awaiting the judgement that I would be handed. It could have ranged anywhere from losing my liscense for a year, to a year in jail. My attorney had written an amazing letter about me to the states attorney and unknown to me, there was a meeting held: Including the states attorney, the prosecutetor, my arresting officer and my attorney. There, they all agreed to reduce my charge to a reckless driving. So, my attorney was told to keep quiet until the day of my trial. As I stood there and received my judgement, I realized that I had been given a second chance. A scond chance to make the impact on the world that i wanted AND a second chance to get myself in a good place. I was also sentenced to 75 hours of treatment and 1 year of aftercare. No biggie.

So, two weeks later, since I had lost my real job, and was running out of money, to go back to Atlanta. I sold all of my furniture, half of my wardrobe, and most of my personal belongings. I was ready to go. But, divine intervention had another plan. In the next 24 hours my life would change. Forever. It all started with my friend, Liz, and Katy Perry. Liz had asked me to stay an extra two days to go with her to court for her custody battle with her soon to be ex-husband. I had NO IDEA how much this decision would change my life. I agreed, and chanegd my ticket. Again. Mind you, the first ticket I had gotten was denied due to not having any seats left on the plane. Again, divine intervention. So, the night before court, I met an amazing friend who literally shook up my head and said what are you doing???? Why are you running and where are you running to? Remember, no matter where you ago, there you are. That night, Liz also came home and immediately put on a music video and said, I heard this song, and instantly thought of you. So, I sat there, mesmerized and listened. Word for word. That song, was Firework. By Katy Perry. That night, my light was ignited. The next day, we had a devastaing blow. Liz lost her custody battle to a convicted child molester, her ex-husband. It was all over the news, the papers, and we couldnt hide from it. I truly hope there is justice in this world, and the appeal will overturn the ruling. For me, it was a catlyst in pushing me to do things I have never done before. I have had that song on repeat for four days now. I cant tell you the impact that it has made on me.

So, I started looking for treatment centers, found one, got accepted and will be starting in 1 week. After treatment is done, I will be attending Second City., which is an acting school here in Chicago. Many famnous names have come from this school. I want to encourage all of you, no matter how dark the sky, ignite the light and let it shine. For you all Firworks in our amazing show.

True Friends

I have been all over this country, right? I have met people from all walks of life. I have been immersed in many different cultures; and introduced to many different ways of thinking. One thing that I have learned all aross my travels, is the way we pick and choose our friends. I have had the same best friend for now a little over 5 years. Jeffrey has been through it with me; the ups, downs, turns and swerves we have been through should be placed somewhere between a major motion picture and a lifetime miniseries. Susan Lucci will play me if we air on lifetime; Kathy Griffin will if I get on the big screen.

My friends are have always been one of the biggest parts of my life. I dont really get along with my family, so most of the people that are my friends fit into a family space in my head. Huy, my little brother to torment (lol) Liz, my big sister (who torments me :-) ) Maia, my evil twin and so on and so on. Well, today, I got a big shock from one of my other friends. Someone who I thought was a very good friend, acrually stabbed me in the back, pretty heavily, to make herself look good to someone else. Normally, I would look the other way, move on and be done with it. This time, however, I am going to stand my ground. I find it very odd that someone could so easily turn on someone they call a friend. The people who are in my life that I call friends, should wear that title very proudly. It comes with strength, determination, caring and love. I will no longer stand to be run over, or mistreated by any individual on this earth. We are all here for the same reason, and that reason is NOT to bring hurt or malice to anyone elses life. I am really sick and appalled at the way people just through the use of the word friend around; its just like saying "sorry" when you really dont mean it. People need to be held accountable for their actions. My friends know, that in the event that I am wrong, or have hurt them, they will immediately let me know what I have done wrong.

People dont always agree on things; this is a given. But to bring intentional hurt to someone, just because you want attention, or need to feel good about yourself, is an evil thing. I hope that through all of this, someone will get the message that we are all in tough times, and that we need to be strong for each other, not just for ourselves.

I am going to define a friend for you, very simply: A friend is someone, who no matter what, tells you exactly how they feel, stands up for you, helps you in times of need and loves you unconditionally. At least, in my head, that's what a friend is. A friend takes you to doctors appointments, gives you apple juice when you have low blood sugar and picks you up off the floor when you have fallen and hit your head. These are the things that I remember happening. I would like too say thank you to all the friends in my life, the real ones, the ones who have stood by me through all of my troubles this year. The people who have loved me for me, and not what I can give or do for them, are the ones I am most grateful for.

Friendship doesnt grown on trees. You can fabricate it, you cant make it happen when Its not there. Just make sure that when you have people come into your life, make sure its for the right reasons. Make sure that people know what they can gain just by being your friend. Dont, however, let people take advantage of this gain. I have seen it so many times lately, people sucking the life out of others, for their own doing.

I want each of you, right now, to make a list of the people in your life that have done something good for you lately. Then, pick up the phone and remind them that they are important; that they are loved, and most importantly, that they are your friend.

Advice from Strangers

ok. So i am gonna talk about the most important piece of your makeup: SKINCARE!~!!!!!!!~! Now, remember folks, I am by no means a doctor, But i have had 8 years of experience selling and using various types of skincare. I have worked for such lines as Lancome, Estee Lauder, MAC, Prescriptives, Y.S.L. and philosphy, just to name a few. So, I'm gonna give you the skinny on what to really look for when choosing your skincare regime.

Let me start off by saying this: Price tags mean ABSOLUTELY nothing, especially if you get yourself a 300 dollar jar of beeswax and it sits in your cabinet, unused. Also, for those of you who are lazy, and expect extreme results, find yourself the nearest frying pan and hit yourself in the head with it. I cant tell you the amount of times that I have had clients bring an unused jar of moisturizer back to me and say, "Its not doing anything." My question is always this: "Are you using it?" Answer: "No." I scratch my head and move along. You must have dedication to get the results that you want. Whether you are using a 5 dollar or 300 dollar jar, it will happen if you are dedicated.

I wanna speak about advice from strangers, too. How many of you are afraid to walk up and ask for advice from someone you dont know, especially at a cosmetic counter?  How many of you watch Oprah or Ellen on a regular basis, and run right out and buy what they tell you to? Its the same concept. You no more know Oprah than I do. SOOOOOOOO dont be afraid to ask these people for help, that is what they are there for. Now, granted, you SHOULD do LOTS of product research before you make a plan. Each counter is trained by its standards to sell you whats in its cases, whether you like it or not. I will tell you, there is a simple solution to the overwhelming amount of products that are available.

First off, you need to decide what your target skincare need is. You cant just buy a regular mositurizer and expect it to take away wrinkles or sun damage. Its not magic. You can however beat the wrinkles and lines if you find the right regime. For those of you ladies who are in your early 20's, this is the crucial point for you to be able to fight off anti-age at the pass. I urge all of you in that age group, to at least have yourself an eye cream. Most important product for you. You will thank me in 10 years. Trust.

Washing the face is a super crtical part of your routine. First off, DO NOT USE MAKEUP REMOVER AS CLEANSER. It does not work that way. You should remove all of your makeup and then cleanse your face. If you use a cleanser in lieu of makeup remover, cleanse your face TWICE. Simply because on the first round, all you are doing is breaking down the makeup, not actually penetrating the pores and dermis to clean it. For you oily kids, get yourself something that is a foaming gel. Gel cleansers are generally designed for oily skins, however, most gel cleansers will leave you dry. Even if you are oily. This in turn, will cause you to over produce oil, and therefore have yourself a nice little breakout. Foaming gels actually give you the deep clean of a gel, but add detergents and things that will foam, and not let you dry out. They act sort of like a hydrator. Combo skins, always use a foaming facewash. Works SO much better. Keeps you dry where you should be, and oily where you should be. So, all of your face is happy :) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not buy a cleanser with a built in exfoliator. All they do is strip the skin of the essential oil you need, and will dry you out. There is NO need for ANYONE to exfoliate every day (unless your face is made out of leather) Dry skin people: Get a HYDRATING creme cleanser. (estee lauder cream cleanser) You will thank me for the hydration. As far as exfoliators, thermal are the BEST. Used 2x a month, these exfoliators are self heating, giving you a SUPER good deep exfoliation.

Mositurizers come in all shapes and sizes. Truly, until you decide what your REAL need is, there are plenty of BASIC creams that will hyrdate you and provide anti-oxidant protection. Plain and simple. Do your research, but I will tell you that I love Hydramax from Chanel, and I love Daywear Plus from Lauder. The difference is the PRICE. Honestly. Now, as far as mass market goes, my best experince has been from Olay Regenerist. Works good for the budget. Got the same results as with my cream from Lauder.

Serums are my FAVORITE. There is one product in the world that I will not live without. The worlds NUMBER 1 serum is Advanced Night Repair. Estee Lauder. By FAR the best on the market. I did a test with a 450 dollar serum and my 49 dollar ANR KICKED ITS ASS. Not even kidding. It holds 1500 times its weight in water (proven fact) which is CRUCIAL for skin cell turnover at night. It will also boost the action of whatever moisturizer you put on top by 200%. YOu should always have a seperate day serum. I like Olay Regenerist for my day. Actually helped take away some sun damage on my neck. LOVE it.

So, thats a little more on my skincare tactics, If you have any questions, leave me a comment. I must eat now.

Robins

Today was a very interesting day for me. I was going to bring you all a column on skincare, but I had something truly extraordinary happen to me today. Let me set the scene for you.....

I woke up this morning feeling exceptionally anxious. I have had many road blocks and obstacles to overcome this year. Starting with the end of my relationship at the beginning of the year, getting myself a dui and becoming sober, and most recently, losing my job over comments on facebook. All of these problems have brought great financial and mental strain to my life. I have fought hard to maintain my apartment and most importantly, my sanity.

Anxiety is something that I have dealt with almost my entire life. Everything from headaches to panic attacks, its all been there. I wouldnt wish any of this on my worst enemy. I have recently been struggling with the fact that I didnt have a full-time job. Its very hard to pay the bills and keep everything in place when you dont. I have tried everything from medication to breathing excercises to relieve me of the anxiety, all to no avail. Today I discovered something magnificent that really helped me.

Fast forward to today: My really close friend and neighbor, Robin, had a doctors appointment this morning for bloodwork. I offered to go along with her, so she wouldnt be alone. We always have such fun together, laughing and what not. So, off we went, to the doctors. She has known for a few days that I have been in a stress funk. So, she starts off our music selection with Miss Whitney herself; I didnt know my own strength. We talk about the relevance and the significance of these lyrics in our lives today. I  know that times have been tough, not just for me, but for everyone. Nonetheless, I have chosen to suck it up and keep a smile on my face; or so I thought.

We get finished at the dr. appt, and Robin tells me she wants to take me somewhere. I reluctantly agree, seeing as how I havent really been up to much lately. The next thing I know, we are in the woods, walking down a most beautiful trail. I began to take in all my surroundings; the earth, the sound of the river nearby, and just the peace of nature.  We walk for about half a mile, and we come upon a huge clearing with a giant stone fireplace, a few picnic tables and a grand patch of beautiful, kelly green grass. She instructs me to take off my shoes, turn off my cell phone and walk out to the middle with her. I agreed and did so.

I layed there for about 5 mins, and the clouds opened to the most gorgeous sun I had ever seen. It was so relaxing, and I could literally feel my anxiety stripping away from me. We then got up and she took me to a beautiful old wooden bridge, right across the way. I grabbed my phone for some music. I turned on Pandora and prayed for a song to commemorate the moment. I got my wish. Carrie Underwood has a profound song for me: Wasted. As of today, I am 120 days sober. 4 months. Robin told me to take her hand, and cross the bridge. She also said that when we get to the other side, our troubles are to be left behind. Even If just for the day. I did so, listening to Carrie all the way.

We got to the other side, and my heart was truly lifted. I said, I am ready to face the world again. We started crossing back, and walking to the place where we had left our shoes. I asked for a sign, a sign from the earth, telling me that we were doing the right thing, and that our paths were eventually going to clear. At that precise moment, we turned and looked at the open patch of grass. Tears started streaming down BOTH our faces. I counted, and there were 18 Robins spread out on the grass. There had been no birds there before. Robins are a symbol of grace and comfort. Especially for me, because my mother loves Robins.

I urge each of you, whether you suffer from anxiety, stress, or nothing at all, to outside. Soak up the Earth. Seek out the sources of your stresses. Eventually, your robins will come. In many forms, you will see them.

Sound It Out

So today, I felt like hearing some sounds of my youth.... which meant I wanted to hear some band music. Thank goodness for youtube. I was feeling a little sad, and wanted to be uplifted. So, I pulled up youtube, typed in Ashland Park Overture, and crossed my fingers. Literally, within seconds, there were hundreds of videos of high school bands playing this very song. I clicked on the first one I saw and was instantly drawn back to memories od my youth, and my father. My Daddy passed away July 5th of this year.

I started High School Band late, 10th grade actually. Let me tell you first, I SUCKED. Bad. But, my parents, who by this time were already in their 60s didnt care. My mom pushed me to practice every day and daddy wanted to hear taps, every night after dinner (much to the dismay of the neighbors and the neighborhood dogs). Pretty soon, I would be playing every single chance I got, and absorbing as much music as my veins could stand.

The summer of 1995 was my first band camp. I was ridiculousy bad at that too, but no one ever knew. I marched across that field, as if it were my very own. Soon enough, Friday night half times became my time to shine. My parents, tho, had the biggest thrill; or so I think. My two nieces were in band as well, so this truly became a family affair. My sister would cart us back and forth to practice, and then when I got my licesnce, I would. Daddy was a school bus driver, so he drove us to every single away game.

My parents never left the sidelines. It was such a moment of pride for me and them at every half time. I was their little shining star. I guess my nieces were too. My senior year, however, would hold my biggest accomplishments to date. I became first chair trumpet that year, and was assistant drummajor as well. I thought I had really arrived. I wanted to do as much as I could in that halftime show, as it was my last. I even twirled rifle during the drum feature; I was on fire. Senior year also sucked, because right in the middle of marching season, my best friend moved away. The band, however, played on.

But soon enough, I would gradute and go on to college band. My parents couldnt some see me for those games were too far away and mom and dad werent in the greatest of health. It was hard not having someone there to watch you. Weird, I know. I remember the night we had the performance of a lifetime. It was at the state marching contest for high school bands. There were over 150 bands there that night, watching us after they competed that day. Right as we were going on the field, I turned to my friend,Sarah and said I sure wish my mom and dad were here watching me. Just as we were starting to perform, Sarah yells to me across 5 yards and says "Matthew, I'm watching you". I had the performance of my life. Someone was witness to it.

So, now back to youtube. I watched and listened, and it literally opened the floodgates for me, both memory and tears. My parents never missed anything I did, and for that I am forever grateful. I am so thankful that I can have the music of my youth to energize those memories back into play, letting me relive them. If you have someone special in your life, whether its a child or a best friend, be INVOLVED. Bear witness to what they experience. Help them feel proud of the person that you appreciate.

Lash Wednesday

So I decided that from now on, Wednesdays are going to be dedicated to eyelashes. My personal way of shining light on a very touchy, but fun subject. So, every woman in the world has about 2.5 tubes of unused masacra in her home. Why??? I will tell you why. Because she usually marches herself down to the CVS and grabs herself some mascara (that she either saw on tv, or heard from a friend that it was the end-all-be-all-its-gonna-fix-my-life product), only to find to her dismay that it was pretty much useless. So, I decided to give you a run-dow of all the mascaras that I know about, and love. For many years, I was a die-hard Lancome Definicils lover. Best mascara known to man, or so I thought. About 3 years ago, Lancome changed the formula. Sorry guys, no longer a hit. It dries out quickly and it also flakes off the lash. Nothing like some good black dandruff on your mug to ruin the look. Diorshow is another that gives the flakiness. A mascara should always follow a primer. Lauder, Lancome, and MAC provide some excellent primers that help your mascara stay on longer, while conditioning the lash and keeping the mascara from bonding to the lash and drying it out. Love them. Use them. I actually prefer Lauder's, just in case you were wondering. So, I have to say that there are some top pics that I really love: Smokey Lash from Sephora, Phenomeneyze from Givenchy, and believe it or not Plush Lash from MAC. I like Smokey Lash for a seperated, defined lash, when you have a lot of lash and little length. I love Plush Lash when you have lots of length and very little volume. I love to use the ball on Phenomeneyze to finish any lash look. It helps to really seperate and give that really defined but bold finished look. Bad Gal lash from benefit is another fave. It helps to give a bold thick look... I like the way it goes on, and the brush is fun too.

Motorized mascaras are becomming a slight rage right now. I really have to say that out of all of them, I love Turbo Lash from Lauder the most. But, i even use the mascara without the vibration, and it still does the same dang thing. Its just a fancy 30 dollar mascara that vibrates otherwise. Tips on application: Put your primer on first (duh). Dont coat on so much of that your lashes show white, you dont have to see this product in order for it to work. By the time you have finished both eyes, they are ready for mascara. When you open your mascara tube, DO NOT pump it when you are trying to get product out. Repetitive motion like this just pumps air into the tube and dries out your formula. Sweep your mascara on, wiggle it just a little and then pull it out through the lash. Wiggling is ok. Its not gonna mess up your lashes or break down the ingredients in the product. You cant change the formula, even if you wanted to. Dont overcoat either; spiders are only cool for halloween, not on your eyelids. If you are doing a look that requires a lot of liner and lashes, just make sure that you use a thicker volume mascara. Dont try to make it thicker with a hundred coats, it will not be the same.

So, this is just my opinions on lashey things. Im gonna start doing some mascara testing and report back on Wednesdays for you. Thanks for stopping by. Its bed time. NIght!

Honey Hush

I heard this comment today and was instantly yanked back to my childhood in Robinhood subdivision in Brandon, Mississippi. It reminded me of when Granny would come and stay with us. She lived in Monroe, Louisiana (2.5 hours away) and Mom would go fetch her and bring her back to stay with us. This woman was HILARIOUS. Every morning when we would wake up, we would have Dr. Pepper that was heated in the fancy electric machine (the microwave) and cinnamonnnen toast. Yes, I spelled that just like i said it when i was 5. So, up to the table Granny and I would get to have our hot soda and sweet toast; it was a breakfast of champions. So after breakfast we would have a little Granny and Matthew time where we would walk around the yard and then I would play my hide-the-walking-cane from Granny. This was a fun experience for both of us and we would laugh hysterically, usually for about 2.5 hours, or until Granny was sick of not being able to walk. So after this we would have lunch, consisting of more hot dr. pepper...none for me as I would have bounced off the walls with my ADHD. I would have some water or milk, both of which I detested for a while and now love. We would eat bologna sandwhiches (sometimes fried, I was super well behaved) and lay potato chips. YUM-O. After lunch was nap time for me and soap time for Granny and Momma. Now, my mother knew the characters and their bios and storylines to about 700 soap operas. We installed upon these daily, as she NEVER missed her stories. I would then wake up, and as all little rambunctious 5 year olds, tear through the house like Red Baron on speed, This would continue for a while, probably a lot longer than it should've, and it would be time for dinner. Now, when Granny came, she ALWAYS made chicken and dumplings for us. She would roll out the dumplings and I would help. By help i mean destroy the Martha White flour bag and end up with it ALL over me. That was entertaining for everyone who wasnt invloved in the cleanup of it. So, dumplings rolled and broth stirred, down to dinner we would sit. I would always get so full that it hurt. Then daddy would clean up the kitchen and wash the dishes and it was bath time! Granny went first, then mom and then me. Always in this order because I insisted on getting every square inch of the bathroom wet whilst bathing. Fun for me anyway. So, momma and granny would both get in their nightgowns and robes and me in my onesie; the good kind: the one with the feet attached. Loved it. So i would climb up on the giant couch ( the god-awful brown and white flower print one from 1979) and sit next to Granny. This is what would become story time. Granny would tell me stories from all over her life; from water wells to square dancing, to farming; she knew it all. She would repeat story after story for me, they never grew old. After storytime, I would lay on the couch by Dad and he would tickle me until i was solid red from laughing. Then, it was bedtime. Granny would tuck me in, always singing the Lion Sleeps Tonight, the version by The Tokens. Then we would repeat this process everyday until it was time for her to go home. I sure miss Granny. I miss hot dr pepper, I miss bologna, I miss Chicken Dumplings, I miss storytime and I miss being tickled. Enjoy every single moment that you share with someone who is close to you. Be thankful that you can always look back and remember how they made you smile.

The Brush Off

Ever felt like your brushes weren't delivering? Like your shadow was melted together? Well, Im gonna give you some heartfelt advice thats gonna hit below the brush belt. First off, a quick note from Mr Hygiene. CLEAN YOUR BRUSHES people! Why is it that people will spend 30 dollars or more on brushes and let product and bacteria build up on them. This is a question that has always perplexed me. Whether you have cheap brushes (which I honestly do not reccommend) or you have nice quality brushes, the key is to keep them clean. Product builds up and evetually will break down the fiber of the bristles. Ever had a brush that the bristles broke off of? This is why. Also, bacteria can thrive in the hairs of your brush, as they are porus and when you use them on your face, oils from your face allow them to breed and do the nasty things that they do. YUCK-O. Also, when you are using dirty brushes, you screw up the pigment placement on your face. It changes the diffusion of the color and your payoff wont be as good. I reccommend HIGHLY the brush cleaner from MAC. It has a cleaner as well as a disenfectant built in. So you are good all the way around. I reccommend doing this at least once a day, I know its hard, but its worth it. I also reccommend using an alcohol-free, baby shampoo once a week for a thorough cleaning. I say alcohol-free, because alcohol will get down past the hairs of the brush, into the glue and deteriorate the glue, thus making your brush hairs fall out. Now, lets talk about types of brushes. I like a wide array of brushes, except ones that are made mass market. I will explain why. Mass market brands are going to spend more money on their advertising rather than product research, testing and materials.  So, its worth the effort to spend the money to get a decent set of brushes you can take care of and will give you an amazing performance. Now as far as actual brushes go, I love a variety of brands. MAC has an amazing brush called the 187. Its a big brush with white tips. Great for moisturizer, foundation, blush, powder. There is a 188 too thats smaller thats fantastic for the cheek area. The 190 is great for those that like a regular, round, flat foundation brush. I also like, for a less expensive alternative, the foundation brush from the HD line from Sephora. Its good for blending liquid foundation. As far as eyes go, the blending eye brush from Lancome is stellar. It has a great pointed end for blending specific colors into your crease. If you want something a little bigger, the Chanel blending brush is great. A little hint...take scissors and trip the tip into a point...works wonders. For application of shadow onto the lid, MAC wins again. 213 and 239. Best for application. One will give a more pressed, diffused look, the other a more fluffy piled look. You can also grab yourself a 224 for blending, they are great too. I always like to have a smokey look under the eye, by putting a small amout of shadow under the eye and blending. The 219 is a winner in that category. I like a fluffy, less defined brush for the cheeks. The stripe look is NOT in.  The 116 is a sure fire brush to aid with that. Its also great to contour with, on the face and neck. Last but not least, the lip brush from Chanel is my all-time favorite lip brush. It gives a great application of lipstick or gloss without losing the color or making a big dang mess. Your brushes are definately interchangeable. Utilize your tools for various things, such as learning to use your flat foundation brush for highlighting and contouring, using your 187 to put on liquid and powder consecutively. I hope this helps in the world of brushes. I have to watch the Bears stomp the Packers now. So. Good-day.

Foundation Overload

I am going to start this week off by going back to basics: Foundation. I have had many questions arise from my friends lately on how to find the proper foundatoin. I am going to giuve you my number one rule: TRY IT FIRST. Those that are constantly throwing away money on foundations (also known as base) at the places where you cant try them on, know exactly what I mean. There are many skilled foundation-putter-oners out there that can help you choose the right formula and shade just for you; let them help and dont be intimidated. Now for the fun stuff..... I always hear so much "I want a natural look" or "I dont want to look like I am wearing foundation". That translates into needing a sheer coverage makeup. I really like Double Wear Light from Estee Lauder for this look. It is super light and thin, but gives a great coverage and get this: Its 15 hour wear; sweatproof, waterproof and humidty resistant. Sherman himself couldnt take off this makeup. Its also HD certified, so it looks GREAT in pictures; I use it on all my brides. Now we get to those who want a flawless finish, but again dont want to look like they are wearing a ton of makeup. I LOVE the HD line from Sephora. It is super lightweight, provides a flawless finish with a bit more coverage and doesnt look like you are wearing anything. Its great for all skin types. For those with an oilier skin type that have problems keeping shine away and keeping makeup on, you should try yourself a primer. Primers work great whether you want to wear little makeup or want to look like Tammy Faye Baker. I prefer the prep + prime line from MAC. Its silicone based and basically fills in, expands and absorbs all extra oil from your face throughout the day to help keep your makeup intact. Smashbox also has a great priming line called PhotoFinish and have primers for multiple skin types.There is also a super fancy primer from Guerlain (available at Sephora) that has 24 carat gold flecks in it that provides some awesome radiance. Its expensive, but totally worth the look. Now, time for the ones who want to totally cover any and everything. Full-coverage makeup is designed to be exactly that. It is made for people who want to cover any unsightly blemishes, discolorations or scarring on the face. Full-coverage makeup comes in a wide variety of finsihes, from natural to powder to satin. For those who want a powdery finish (usually our oilier-skinned friends) I suggest a full-coverage makeup with a seperate powder to finish the look. I really like using Double Wear from Lauder (surprise surprise). Its a super long wear (15 hours) and allows a powder to be put on top of it with ease. For those who dont require powder, I love Teint Idole Ultra from Lancome. Its again another super long wear makeup and doesnt require a powder to have a finsihed, flawless look. For our drier skins, Absolue makeup (in the jar) from Lancome provides excellent hydration throughout the day and keeps your skin looking very dewy and youthful. Now, for the younger girls who have no problems with breakouts and still want to wear a very full face of makeup, I reccommend Studio Fix from MAC. Its comes in liquid form or powder form. A word of advice: DONT WEAR THEM TOGETHER. Just sayin is all. I also want to touch on tinted moisturizers: They are LAME. If you want a moisturizer, buy a moisturizer. Dont get anything mixed together, as it truly defeats the purpose when the moisturizer is trying to do its job while mixed with makeup pigment. I hope I covered all the basics on foundations. If not, you know how to comment. :) Stay tuned... the next topic is going to be BRUSHES. I cant wait. I have a text message, so I have to go.

Neopolitan Ice Cream

When I think of the world, I think of it in colors and flavors. When things are happy in my world, they are usually bright, exhuberant colors. When things are not so happy, they are dark, sad colors. But I have learned that there are many levels and layers to such times in our lives. Each person in your life, good or bad, represents a different color of your personal rainbow. Sometimes, they even cross over between colors, making there apperance to us more outstanding. I learned today, that we must appreciate each color for its brightness, not judging where it fits, just accepting it where it should be. I have also learned that there are many different flavors to our lives, sometimes its a rocky road and somedays its just plain vanilla. I would like to say that I am very happy with my path and the colors (people) who are making up my rainbow. Take a moment today, and let all the colors in; let them shine the way they should, and be happy that you have that rainbow to take in. Remember your flavors too... whether you are vanilla, chocolate or strawberry, you play a large part in making that Neopolitan Ice Cream happen.

Move Into the Blogs

Well.
Here we are in our community.... now known as the Blogs. I will introduce myself as Matthew. I am a professional makeup artist living the wonderful world of color. I have been a makeup artist for 13 years now. I also dabble in the world of comedy...or so I think I do... I sure hope Kathy Griffin discovers me soon....Im sure bored of being poor. So, I will be bringing you stories of my life, makeup tutorials, and stories of my friends and roomates. Lets list the cast in order of importance: There is Robin (my one-armed-camerawoman-neighbor), Huy (pronounced Hugh, he is my roomate/personal assistant and p.s. he is asian, so lots of free jokes there) Pocohantas (my neighbor and friend..she has a real name that you will find out at a later date) Shane (Robins husband) Maia (my roomate who is a really smart mad scientist woman) and last but not least... Brett (Robins son, who is extremely smart and funny). So stay tuned for a lot of crazy antics and fun times. Also, something to think about for you: I want suggestions of what kind of makeup YOU want to see, so grab a pen and paper and start writing.  OH and I almost forgot... there will be links here for other you tube videos and tutorials. Ok. Done.